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Under the sunny sky... in a room in a certain apartment building, I, Goto Hiroshi is again feeling depressed today.
Already 30 years old and not even married or have a job. In other words, a NEET.
I'm scum who only leeches from my parents. I understand that. I'm a waste or air. I know I'm shit.
However, I'm certainly helpless to do anything about it. The moment I took one step outside to go to Hello to find work, I trembled.
The moment the light of day shone on me, it became impossible to move. Everyone on the road looked like demons. It was scary. That's why I no longer go out anymore.
I also tried to look for a job at home but I couldn't do it either. After all, I am a hikikomori. The only thing I know is to play games.
I spend my day being lazy. I have an elder sister and a younger brother, but they have already abandoned me. It's natural, only my mother... is the one who worries for me. She's also the one who sends me money.
I curse myself everytime I waste her kindness. Therefore, I thought of making a change. Today, this day, I will leave the life of a hikikomori.
No clothes fit my body because I haven't been eating well and have been losing weight. Can't be helped.
I wear glasses so that my face can't be seen. If I put on a hat and a mask with this, I will definitely look like a suspicious person.
After my preparations are done, I go to the front door and put on my shoes. I was tensed. A trauma flashed in my mind. However, I have to change. For the mother who worried and believed in me all this time.
I summoned the small amount of courage I have left and opened the front door.
Under the bright sky, I take one step of a time with my trembling legs. My steps are slow and the trembling doesn't stop. I must look strange to other people, because it's hard to walk after I haven't walked for many years.
I just keep walking with all my might despite the neighbourhood eyes looking at me.
People walking down the road, cars and bicycles. The town has changed. Maybe it wouldn't have been too bad had I gone out a little bit.
I got tired after walking a little over ten minutes, so I decided to rest in the nearby park. As I thought, I'm still not used to going out yet.
However, it's possible to go out. If it's possible to go out, I can do pretty much anything. First of all, let's go home... to see mother.
Then, I will apologize first for now. In the future, I will return all the money she sent me.
I have also caused trouble to ane and younger brother... I will also apologize to them.
I thought about such thing even despite only taking one step forward. But I can't help thinking about it. This may be my last chance to change.
A child who was playing in the park caught my eye. He was playing with a ball. I recalled playing like that too when I was a child.
I looked at the child in nostalgia. As I turned my eyes away to avoid from being judged as a suspicious person, the ball the child kicked went out to the road.
Alarm bells rang in my mind. It is a situation where, if it's an anime and manga, a hero will gallantly come to the rescue.
But I'm the only one here now.
I immediately began to run. The child ran to the road to pick up the ball as expected. Unfortunately, a car is approaching.
SHIT! This isn't anime or manga! This is reality.
With a gishigishi sound, I moved my body by force and ran to save the child.
I reached a hand just as the car was about to hit the child and pushed the child away.
「Be in time!!」
Thereupon, I suffered a major impact and my sight darkened.
『Hiroshi Goto, unemployed, passed away at thirty one years old in -- prefecture. Based on the story of the driver involved in the accident...』
Hiroshi who rescued a child and died because of it, not even his own family praised him. Even his elder sister said, 「He kicked a child just because a car drove by?」
In a fit of anger, his mother slapped his elder sister.
Only Hiroshi's mother defended him.
One side is a flower garden. It is a blue flower. I am not familiar with such a flower. I don't think I've seen this flower before, but still, I think it's beautiful.
I looked around me. The stars are shining in the blue sky. Strange. A flower garden that reached as far as the horizon. A fantasy world filled with beautiful flowers and pale blue light... it has such a feeling.
Where is this? It doesn't look like hell, but I don't think I'm the kind of guy who can go to heaven. How do I say this, suddenly a fellow covered in porn mosaic materialized suddenly in from of me.
What is this fellow?
「Nice to meet you. I am God.」
「Haa? You are God?」
It's downright... hearing it suddenly... Well, whatever. Let's try listening to what God has to say.
「Am I dead here?」
「You died. This place is like... shall I call it the after death world and boundary of this world?」
Hmm... let's just say I'm convinced for now.
「So... does that mean I'm going to hell now?」
The mosaic guy who introduced himself as God chuckled at my words.
"Would you like to go to hell?"
Of course not.
「It's not because I'd like to go. It's just that I don't think I qualify for heaven, because... I haven't atoned from my sins before I died...」
That's so. I thought I could finally find redemption. For my mother, elder sister, younger brother... and father. But before I could atone, I died. Even if I die, nobody will feel sorrow, but...
「Is that so? Then... to hell?」
「Yes. Only there I who have died can atone...」
Again, God chuckled at my words.
「Well then, shall I give you a chance at redemption?」
Could it be you're going to take me to experience hell? Or are you going to revive me?
God shook his head as if he had read my thoughts. Then what did he mean...
「You can't go to hell but it is impossible to revive you.」
「Eh? How come I can't go to hell?」
「Your death was not planned.」
Oi oi. Isn't this a common pattern? I who died, actually died in vain. Could it be the child would still be fine even if I didn't help?
「Not you, it was that child that was supposed to die...」
Huh? If that is so... did I die a useless death? Typical.
「The child was planned to go to heaven after death. So there's no free place in hell.」
「Ah, because I died instead of that child?」
「That's right. You can't go to heaven.」
I guess so. What a waste. It's impossible for me to go to heaven. But this is a problem. I can't go to either one, so that's probably why I'm here.
So what to do now? I turned my eyes to God hoping that he would give me an answer.
「So that's why you can't go to heaven, and you can't go to hell to make amends. So now you're going to reincarnate into another world.」
Oo, another world reincarnation isn't it? So there really is such a thing! I'm very excited by immediately calms down.
This is to atone for my sins. I shouldn't be excited...
「And so, you get to walk a second life. Live in however way you want. Do as you like.」
His voice is gentle, just like mother. I shall live, without repeating the same mistakes in another world.
It's atonement. Let's cherish my family in another world. I will try hard to live. To marry and have children. Then mother can have a peace of mind.
I will stand on my own in another world.
Just as I made up my mind, my sight darkens again.
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