The Silly Wizard's Courtship Method Chapter 1

The Silly Wizard's Courtship Method Chapter 1

Chapter One

Three dishes and one soup on the table.

Yuan Zhengjie was about to bow and eat out of his bowl when he saw Wu Lin looking intently at him. The man said in a serious tone: “Cousin.”

Yuan Zhengjie involuntarily swallowed. Countless painful history since his childhood had taught him that when his cousin showed this expression and used this tone, even if it wasn't the end of the world, it might as well be for him.

“If what you want to say is serious, then don't tell me.” Yuan Zhengjie deadpanned.

Wu Lin thought for a moment, “Not too serious.”

“If not, then don't tell me.” Actually, what he really wanted to say was he did not want to be told anything, no matter if it was serious or not.

However, Wu Lin apparently did not understand what he meant. He firmly said: “It is a little serious.”

Yuan Zhengjie waved single-handedly, “Can't you just not say it?”

"If I don't say it, then how will you hear me?”

“……” He just did not want to hear ah. Yuan Zhengjie scoop a spoonful of his soup, preparing to eat it.

Wu Lin coughed then sighed : “I met my wife in the company today.”

"…… " The soup poured out of Yuan Zhengjie's mouth, dripping into his rice bowl.

“Cousin?” Wu Lin looked at the bowl of rice in disgust.

Yuan Zhengjie looked down, unconsciously digging his spoon into the rice bowl, stirring the reddish tomato-egg soup so slowly with the rice.

“Are you okay?” Wu Lin showed a trace of worry on his face.

Yuan Zhengjie shook his head, covered his face with his hand, and fell silent for a long time before finally asking in an unbelievable tone: “When did you get married?”

Wu Lin looked at him strangely, “I am not married.”

“You just said that you met your wife… "

“This thing started from three years ago,"  Wu Lin began seriously,”that year, I just graduated from college …… ”

” Three sentences.” Yuan Zhengjie cut him off, and held up three of his fingers.

“…” Wu Lin bowed his head and thought of his words, then looked up and said, “I saw my future lover’s appearance in the mirror with my mother’s magic method.”

Yuan Zhengjie raised one finger.

“This afternoon, the new Director of Investment Management came to the office.”

Yuan Zhengjie raised two fingers.

“It is my lover.” The last sentence was quite concise.

Yuan Zhengjie shrank back in his seat and concluded: “So, what you mean to say is, you saw your future lover three years ago with magic and that person happened to be the new director in your office?”

Wu Lin nodded.

“You do remember your position in the company, right?”

“Warehouse Clerk of the Logistics Division in the General Department.” He said very simply.

“Do you know how many levels are there between you and the director?”

Wu Lin said: “Custodian, Senior Custodian, Deputy Chief, Chief, Assistant Manager, Deputy Manager, Manager, Deputy Director, Director… 8 levels.”

Yuan Zhengjie took a deep breath and said: “Female Directors are usually strong women with strong career ambition. Why would she want to be with someone eight levels lower than her?”

Wu Lin frowned, “Who says he is a woman?”

Yuan Zhengjie eyes suddenly became bigger.

“And,” Wu Lin continued while pointing at his own chest, “isn't modern wizard on earth rarer than a director?”

"…"

Yuan Zhengjie was nine when he first met this little cousin of his who was said to have one eighth of British's blood aristocracy. This cousin was really small at that time, seemed as small as a bean, but this bean-sized child had scared him so much he almost peed his pants in public.

Because Wu Lin's way of saying hello was by throwing an egg-sized fireball to him. It is said that this method of greeting was very popular in the wizarding world at that time, in which other wizards would use a water attack in return.

He did return it, but not not with a normal water attack – he used his natural body's tap below his waist instead.

This experience had given him one benefit: he became a non-smoking man;

and one disadvantage: doubling his alcohol consumption level!

“Are you sure your magic wasn't wrong?” Yuan Zhengjie regained his thoughts.

Wu Lin said: “Before I met him, I wasn't sure, but after our encounter, I think it must be true, because my heart began beating rapidly the moment I saw him. My mother once said that when Stirling family members meet someone they are destined to be with, they would experience accelerated heart rate, feverish cheeks, and have an impulse to use magic. I had all of these symptoms when I saw him. ”

Yuan Zhengjie whispered: "it doesn't sound like a good feeling. ”

Wu Lin added: "Of course, I promised my mom not to misuse my magic, so I will have to restrain my desire to use magic. ”

“But he is a man.” Yuan Zhengjie didn't know how to express this, "And you are also a man.”

“I know." Wu Lin said,”But we have to comply with our heart's choice, just as when my grandfather met my grandmother, he decided to abandon his family and came to China.”

Yuan Zhengjie said: "Yes ah. But your grandfather met your grandmother, not another grandfather, so… ” Heaven, what is he even talking about.

However, Wu Lin clearly understood what he meant. “If my grandfather loved another man, I believe he would make the same choice.”

Yuan Zhengjie silently watched him for a long time before finally saying, “Sure is Stirling Family, it's a great family.” Although there was no Stirling name on Wu Lin's ID card, all his family members had these three words as their default full name: Lin Witch Stirling.

After getting his cousin’s approval, Wu Lin began to actively explore ways to begin his courtship. “Should I send ninety-nine roses to him tomorrow, or will it be too old-fashioned?”

“Not old-fashioned.” Yuan Zhengjie shook his head and then said slowly, “but he will be very shocked.”

Wu Lin eyes light up, “So he will be impressed by me?”

“I think the whole company will be impressed by you.” Yuan Zhengjie then poured cold water on his imagination, “and you will receive a one-time very lucrative salary.”

Wu Lin blinked,” What does it mean?”

“It means you may need to find another job.”

Wu Lin was surprised: “Because of the flowers I will be fired?”

Yuan Zhengjie said: “Not because of the flowers, but because you give them to your newly appointed male director… This can be categorized as intimidation.”

Wu Lin stared at Zhengjie for a while, looking dejected: “Then what should I do?”

Yuan Zhengjie said: “Weren't you not using magic to predict that he is your future lover? Since it is your future love, your fated one, why do you need to put so much effort? ”

“You have to fight for the love yourself. The future is unlimited. If you don't fight, he'll likely be stolen by others.” Wu Lin clenched his fist and continued,”And I will do everything possible to stop this from happening!"

“in other words, magic can only give you a possibility?” Yuan Zhengjie frowned, “then what is the use of this magic?”

“To point you the right one ah.” Wu Lin argued, “At least you won't have to waste your time on the wrong people.”

Yuan Zhengjie pondered, suddenly felt that it was indeed very reasonable. Nowadays the matter of love had been the talk of many people, and some even dated several people at the same time. Their reason was because they could not find a truly suitable person.  If one could find such a person upfront, surely they could save a lot of time and effort.

“Can I use this magic?” His heartbeat accelerated slightly.

“Yes,” Wu Lin said, “but can you be determined to obey it? Because if you don't end up with the fated lover who is shown by the magic, you will face a backlash.” Yuan Zhengjie was shocked, “What kind of backlash?”

“I am not sure. Different people will get different backlash.”

Hearing this, Yuan Zhengjie frowned, “Is it random? This magic is really not safe ah. If my fated one is the Queen of England, then what should I do?" Did he really have to go and make an enemy out of the entire Kingdom of Great Britain?

Wu Lin said: “I heard from my mother that one of my ancestors actually saw a monkey as his fated lover.”

“… ..” Yuan Zhengjie said, "It's really a miracle this magic has not been deemed as forbidden..”

“So I am very lucky.” Wu Lin said, “I must catch him!”

The contrast in Yuan Zhengjie's attitude was startling, Not too long ago, he was feeling sorry for Wu Lin because his destined lover was a man, but now he actually felt it was fortunate thing. “I support you.”

Courtship is a learned art.

It is usually analyzed from two major perspectives: the one doing the courting, and the one being courted.

Yuan Zhengjie’s idea was to use the Art of War. To pursuit and conquer the target using all means necessary, unscrupulously, shamelessly, and persistently; in short, the only things that could not be done were those happened unexpectedly. And as the target was of the same sex, the courtship also had to be more intense and extreme.

After some explanation, the originally confused Wu Lin slowly began to feel excited.

“What should I do now?”

“Know yourself and know your enemy, and you will never be defeated[1]. First, all you have to do is…” Yuan Zhengjie narrowed his eyes and said “get to know him.”

Gu Long[2] once said that ' the people who know you best are often not your friends, but your enemy. '

But Yuan Zhengjie would like to correct him. Enemies were likely to know only your weaknesses, while fans prefer to know the good points, so the one who would know you best was actually someone who was both your fan and enemy.

In other words, if you really want to know someone, you should first worship them, admire them, and then put them as your target to defeat.

Wu Lin did not really understand this.

“Simply put,” Yuan Zhengjie took out a piece of white paper and wrote something on it. “Address, phone and cell phone number, family, education, birthday, blood type, hobbies, dating status, health status, clothes and shoes size, favorite color, food and music, admired people, the ideal life… and the most important point: his requirements in a partner." He put down the pen and handed the paper to Wu Lin,”first, you have to check at least this much.”

Wu Lin looked at this piece of paper in a daze.

“What’s wrong?”

Wu Lin said: “I do not know the size of his clothes and shoes."

Yuan Zhengjie said: “It does not matter, you can worry about this matter later. Right, what is his name?”

“Tang Wen Ye.”

***

Tang Wen Ye recently always had a feeling of unease, as if something big was about to happen.

But what big thing? Sunway Group’s chairman is his grandfather; although few people know about this relationship, several high-level workers are aware. One can imagine, as long as he did no big mistake, in the company he must be like a fish in water.  In fact, his identity as director alone would be enough to let him do anything he wants.

His parents were divorced, but both of them had each formed a new family respectively. And although he was not close with them, he still kept in touch.

This feeling of uneasy, the only possible reason must be caused by lack of sleep.

His biggest hobby in life was football, and these days European Cup had started being aired live. Due to the time difference between Europe and Asia, he he had to stay up till 4 or 5 for the past few days to watch them.

Especially yesterday and today. Two consecutive days with less than six hours of sleep made him lightheaded.

“Director Tang.” Chen Xi smiled and came over. At the age of twenty-six, she already became a Deputy Finance Director, which spoke clear of her extraordinary skills and charisma. “I’m really sorry, yesterday, the introduction for you was done too hastily, I have yet to give you a proper welcome and show you around.”

Tang Wen Ye could not wait to kick her away, and go directly into the office to catch up on some sleep; but instead his face still maintained a smile as he responded: "Actually, I grew up in this city and already very familiar with this place, saying that I have to be properly welcomed seems unnecessary.”

Seeing him declining, Chen Xi also did not push the matter,” If that's the case, then maybe the director should be the one to show an outsider like me around sometimes.”

“If there is opportunity, then of course.” Tang Wen Ye smiled then immediately turned away from her, and went towards the elevator .

There was a person standing in the elevator, and the elevator door was open, as if waiting for him.

Tang Wen Ye did not think much about it; with his identity, there were many people who'd want to gain favor from him in this company.

When he walked in, he realized that the young man there was blushing red as an apple. His too-big-eyes made Tang Wen Ye unconsciously thought of Harry Potter. He took the initiative to say: " Your English name is not Harry, is it?"

” No, I’m Wu Lin.” Wu Line answered. He tried hard to calm his heart as to not spit out any spell-related syllables.

“This is an English name?” Seeing him looked very nervous, Tang Wen Ye could not help but want to tease him a bit.

Wu Lin explained: “My grandfather is English. He is the one who gives the name.”

This chinese-like name is called an English name? Then if he took ‘Richard’ as his name, could he claim it as his Chinese name? Tang Wen Ye was very speechless.

Wu Lin took out the paper that Yuan Zhengjie had written for him and asked cautiously: “Where do you live?”

“What?” Tang Wen Ye immediately felt alarmed.

“I mean, your home address?”

Tang Wenye glanced at the paper in his hand. “What’s this?”

Although Wu Lin was a little bit stupid, he wasn't completely so. At a crucial moment, he instinctively thought of an excuse: “The company’s questionnaire.”

However, Tang Wen Ye obviously wasn't fooled, “The company’s papers had the company's logo printed on them.”

“There are also ordinary A4 paper.” As a warehouse clerk, Wu Lin was very clear of this.

Ye Wen Ye only went to work the previous day, naturally he was less clear in this regard, but he firmly believde that: “The company’s questionnaire will not be handwritten, and they won't ask a small staff to ask me this in the elevator.”

Wu Lin looked up and stared at him, those big eyes seemed as if water would flow out of them at any time.

“I’m saying the truth.” Tang Wen Ye was uncomfortable by his stare and could not help but aggravate his tone.

“Do you think the job rank is very important?” Wu Lin was somewhat worried. He did not expect that Yuan Zhengjie’s concern would become a fact. Although Tang Wen Ye is not a woman, he still attaches great importance to this issue.

Tang Wen Ye was baffled by his question, “Of course, the salary shows everything.” He saw Wu Lin's low spirit, and thought he felt too inferior compared to him, “but you are young, being young is a capital, you have unlimited possibilities.”

"Really?” Wu Lin’s eyes brightened instantly.

“Of course,” Tang Wen Ye finally thought of asking him of his position in the company, “What is your department?”

“General Logistics Department, Warehouse Clerk.” Wu Lin answered smoothly.

Tang Wen Ye nodded and wondered: “What are you doing in the elevator?”

Wu Lin blinked. Yuan Zhengjie said that he should definitely not show off his real intention without them getting to know each other first, or he would definitely be dismissed.

“Hm?” Tang Wen Ye asked again.

“I’m…” Wu Lin blinked several times, “taking the elevator. Oh, here it is.” He pressed the doorbell and hurried out.

Tang Wen looked at the direction he was leaving to, before slowly pressing the button of the seventeenth floor.

When he reached the sixth floor, he suddenly realized something and wondered: “Did the elevator only just move now?”


T/N:

Yes yes, I know what you are going to say. “Why are you starting a new project when you have so many unfinish ones already?”

Hold your flames please, and let me tell you this first. This one is a really short story, with only 7 chapters in total. I have been translating this during my free time so I figured why not just post them? This won’t disturb any of my other projects in anyway, and I’m going to update this whenever I feel like to (I’ll try to finish this ASAP tho).

This is not edited in anyway, so please do pardon any mistakes there. Or you can point them out to me ~ They are always welcome.

All in all, I just want to have a finished work under my name. So… please forgive this silly girl.