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As young Suk was waking up, he tried to organize his thoughts, which were stretched thin from having fainted multiple times.
The court, his small hand, legs that supported his body and allowed him to stand… He was full of questions.
The soft sound of an engine was registered in his ears, together with a soft feeling on his back. He found that the landscape was also passing by quickly.
He deduced he was in a car.
“Did you wake up?”
He heard an incredibly kind voice. When he looked at where the voice came from, he saw a woman with a face that looked as if she had urgently ran somewhere.
“Mom? Look at you. Of course it’s your mother, who else could it be, dad? Your dad’s driving right there.”
Seeing how silly the talk was getting, it was mom.
“Was it…. mom?”
With a weird sense of discomfort Young Suk’s pupils started to shake. The body that was laying down out of tiredness started to tense up, his nerves standing on edge.
“Did she say mother?”
No. It can’t be. The image of his mother, who went through unspeakable hardship because of him, came up in his mind. She was so skinny before it was hard to believe that she was the same person. She, with a women’s body, had to take care of her disabled son for 20 years. She, with her bad hip and knee problems.
“You had a 5:0 match point but then you fainted…. so close. Your dad and I……”
The look on mom’s face when she was complaining was just beautiful. She looked to be in her mid-30s. She, who was so pretty when she was this young, had to go through unspeakable pain because of him… it felt as though a spike had nailed his chest. Slowly, his heart felt like it was being squeezed.
When he turned his eyes he saw his dad wordlessly driving with bloodshot eyes. Young and full of vigor… he was a good looking young man.
He always tried to be serious, but his heart was gentle and he had a good character.
That same dad had taken on so much stress that his hair had turned white in his 40s and his eyes had lost their vigor. When comparing the dad in his image to the dad he saw in front of him, his stomach started to get prickly. It could be a dream… no, since this event couldn’t happen, it couldn’t be anything else but a dream, and because it was a dream, it was even sadder.
The fear and the feeling of suffocation in his heart, which had been thrown down into the endless void, finally gripped at his heart strongly. Suddenly, blood quickly started to flow through his body.
The pain he was feeling was so intense that it was like someone was rubbing glass powder in his chest. Young Suk finally started to shed tears from the endless resentment and sorrow that was gripping at his heart.
He wanted to shout loudly as he cried, but the air was stuck in his throat and no sound came out.
His parents looked greatly surprised when they saw Young-suk suppressing his cries. His mother, with worry in her eyes, tried her best to calm him down as she stroked Young Suk’s back until the tears subsided.
The car stopped softly.
Young Suk was so exhausted from crying that all he could do was breathe. At first his mother was absentmindedly looking at Young Suk, but then she went to his door, opened it, and turned around to show him her back.
With that word, Young Suk smiled even though his sadness. From young the silly jokes had never changed. Even though it was a dream, his mother was always a lovely person.
Young Suk softly got on his mother’s back.
“Hyup!! While your father’s parking, let’s hurry upstairs.”
She was really strong. Young Suk, who was being carried by his mother, looked up to see the scene around him. He saw a high class and clean villa.
“That’s right … I did live in a place like this before.”
* * *
His room, which was just a hazy memory.
Young Suk was laying on his bed.
To young Suk, who wouldn’t get off his mother’s back even at the entrance,
“Is that right? Our cute son wants the piggyback to go longer?”
She said as if she were reading a textbook, causing Young Suk to laugh as she carried him to the bed.
The smile on his face, caused by the image of his mother complaining that she needed to cook even though they were going to eat as a winning celebration, kept him smiling.
“Let’s see. Is it…not a dream?”
Now that Young Suk had calmed down a little bit, he started to look around his room.
“Did I live in a room like this?”
He wasn’t sure when exactly it was, but seeing as he couldn’t remember anything about this room, it was quite far in the past.
The desk was the only thing Young Suk’s memory matched up with.
It was a desk that went beyond the feeling of luxury as it overflowed with elegance and grace, making one feel undeserving of it. The desk wasn’t made out of manufactured wood, but instead, it was made by carving a tree trunk. The desk was fascinating, and the more you used it, the more elegant it would become.
Since he still used the desk after he was in his 30s, this was indeed his room.
Young Suk shortly looked at his hand.
He also looked at his adorable feet that were placed on his short legs.
It was small. It was small enough be a child’s body.
Young Suk poked at his leg a few times.
There was feeling. He tried to move his toes. They moved like he wanted them to. So he wasn’t imaging when he was standing on the court.
Young Suk was composed even though he was about to shout with joy from the electrifying feeling coming from his spine.
He stretched one leg out of the bed. Then he stretched out the other. He was sitting on the bed.
He took a deep breath and stood up.
“I… I stood up!!”
However, Young Suk suddenly plodded down on the bed, seeing that his legs were trembling.
There was nothing wrong with his legs. It was just that he had forgotten the feeling of standing up.
His eyes widened out of happiness, and he started to practice walking. His eyes returned back to normal, separate from the feelings of confusion, sadness, happiness, etc. He only focused on this moment.
One step, two step… He continued this movement. He felt like he could do anything. Instead of wondering how he got into this situation, he was absorbed in the fact that he was walking. His heart was so full of emotion that it felt like bursting.
“Young Suk, time to ea……”
While in the midst of Young Suk practicing how to walk, his mother came in and made a surprised face.
The room was warm from Young Suk practicing how to walk. All of his sweat started to make a small puddle on the floor. His mother’s face had a cracked expression from seeing her son smiling, even though he was gasping for air. Her face looked almost like a cracked mirror that was quietly falling apart.
Even in this unusual situation, there was a veil of peacefulness, but it broke then. Surprise, shock, and anger flashed by on her face.
“Young Suk you… you……!!”
Young Suk finally noticed the presence of his mom and looked at her.
“You fool!! What is this! Why are you doing this!?”
His mother grabbed Young Suk’s arm and shook it roughly. Young Suk was confused and flustered by the situation.
“Why have you been acting like this recently? Do you know how worried your dad and I have been because you’ve been acting weird?!”
Young Suk’s mom spilled out her worries and started to cry as she hugged Young Suk.
Young Suk’s dad quickly came running after he heard the commotion and started to look around the room, his expression soon starting to contort.
Today was a chaotic day for the Young Suk family.
* * *
Doenjang jjigae, salted pollack roe, Grilled Mackerel, and lastly, homemade dried seaweed. Even though she complained at first, they were all foods that Young Suk loved to death. The meal, which was cooked with all of Young Suk’s mom’s effort after finding out that her son was okay after collapsing, was getting cold.
It felt like both of his parents would not let even a peep out until Young Suk took up his spoon, and the table was blanked with endless silence.
Meanwhile, Young Suk was contemplating.
“Should I tell them? This…is this even possible to understand?”
Young Suk raised his head, which was looking at his knee, to look at both of his parents.
What emotion must they feel for them to look so confused?
My eyes probably also look like theirs. Now that he saw what they looked like, he started to feel a strong emotion coming from within him. Finally, he opened his mouth.
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